Couples/Partner Relationship Distress

The DSM-V has defined a relational disorder as “persistent and painful patterns of feelings, behavior, and perceptions involving two or more partners in an important personal relationship.” It is very important to stress that, in a relational disorder, the relationship itself is the problem and not the people involved. Saying "relationships are hard" is so common that it's a cliché now. But it's also true. Even when people get along well, stress and daily life can cause conflicts that seem difficult or impossible to resolve. Relationship counseling can help people in these challenging situations to work through their problems, move beyond them, and be better partners overall.

Many people believe that you should only seek relationship therapy when separation or divorce is looming. But that is often too little, too late. Relationship therapy should begin as soon as the problems get in the way of your daily life. Here are some signs that you might benefit from couples’ therapy:

• You have trouble expressing your feelings to one another.

• You have one or more unsolvable disagreements.

• There is withdrawal, criticism, or contempt in your interactions.

• A stressful event has shaken your daily life.

• You have trouble making decisions together.

• You have experienced infidelity, addiction, or abuse.

• You want a stronger relationship.

There are no wrong reasons to seek relationship therapy. Some couples start therapy as soon as they are married, even without obvious problems, to build a strong foundation and prevent serious problems from developing. Counselors can help you become better communicators, develop strong relationship skills, and improve your family’s happiness. The average couple waits six years before seeking therapy. This is a lot of time to let problems fester; at this point, troubled relationships are difficult to save. Instead, it's best to acknowledge problems early and seek therapy as soon as possible.

Relationship problems are not limited to romantic ones, even though it's the most popular reason people consult for relationship therapy. Relationship therapy also isn’t just for married people; cohabiting couples, people in non-monogamous relationships, and LGBTQ people can also benefit. It can also be helpful for siblings dealing with family issues, or even business partners.

Some typical goal-based approaches:

• Fix the problem under the problem.

• Break the pattern.

• Change the emotional climate.

• Treat your relationship like a child.

At MindShift Psychotherapy treatments consist of evidence-based approaches such as Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples, Family Systems Therapy, and Psychodynamic Therapy, and biofeedback for couples.